Boat My Life #2
We’ll call this a BM-L!
We were having too much fun to go back to shore, and I was afraid she was disappointed. She looked at me like a freak when I made an excuse for why I wanted to “go for a quick swim” in the middle of a 65 degree lake. #BoatMyLife
Stranded on the Arkansas River
My brother and I took it out on the Arkansas River to go fishing. We were backing the boat in at the ramp and made the classic mistake of leaving the plug out. So after pulling out, draining the boat, and putting the plug in, we were on our way. Crisis averted, right?
After a few hours of fruitless fishing we decided to head back because it was getting dark. Multiple rips of the starter cord later, and the motor wouldn’t start. We were stranded on the water. We pulled out our 2007 flip phones to call our brother who knew a bit more about operating the motor than we did. No signal. We started contemplating how we would go to shore and then hike our way out. We thought we were going to have to bushwhack our way through the Arkansas Delta.
The sun was starting to set, and my brother was nearly having a complete meltdown. We decided to give the engine one last chance. With a huge sigh of relief, the engine started. We buzzed out of the tributary we had been stuck in and went straight back to the boat ramp. #BoatMyLife
When I saw her and her family get halfway through the no-wake zone, I realized something horrible: I didn’t write down her phone number and I could not remember a single digit. I was never going to see her again!
I told my boss someone took off without paying for gas, jumped on a jet ski, and drove full-speed through the no-wake zone. I caught up to her family just as they were about to take off. My jet ski skills and quick thinking impressed her so much that she gave me her phone number again! #BoatMyLife
Polident can only be expected to do so much…
On one of these cruises, the water was clear as glass. We puttered around for about ten minutes, and I was already having the time of my life. Grandma was on the bow of the boat and Grandpa was seated behind me. He tapped me on the shoulder and said “MASH IT”! I hit the gas hard, and Grandma started screaming “SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN”. Grandpa never said to slow down, so I didn’t. Besides, I was having the time of my life hearing Grandma scream and feeling the crisp night wind on my face.
My excitement built when Grandpa told me to give the boat a turn. My Grandma yelled even louder as she held on for dear life in the front. The boat pounded into our own wake. Grandma’s butt rose six inches off the seat and slammed down hard – and at that moment her false teeth came flying out of her mouth. They flew through the air and landed at my feet.
After these ten seconds of terror, my next memory is pulling into the lift. My grandma was already halfway up the sidewalk, looking me in the eye and saying “You’re in trouble”. But grandpa wouldn’t stop laughing. #BoatMyLife
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