Boat My Life #2

by | Sep 18, 2018 | BML

RaftUp would like to thank our users, who submitted their boat stories for BML #2! This is a good batch, folks. You’ll laugh, cry, and maybe even swoon! Here are the tales they have to tell:

We’ll call this a BM-L!

Couple Looking out at a sunset over the water
This one time, I took this girl for a date at a Mexican restaurant near the dock. It was early April, still very, very cold. The weather wasn’t right, but I wanted to impress her by taking her out on my new speedboat. We were having a great time, but it wasn’t long before the enchiladas hit the bottom of my stomach. I had the urgly-gurglies.

We were having too much fun to go back to shore, and I was afraid she was disappointed. She looked at me like a freak when I made an excuse for why I wanted to “go for a quick swim” in the middle of a 65 degree lake. #BoatMyLife

Stranded on the Arkansas River

Lonely Periwinkle Boat in the Middle of a wide teal sea
This one time, when I was 15, my older brother and I saved up money to buy a small fishing boat. It was about as basic as it gets: an empty metal shell and a motor that was, well, not 100% dependable.

My brother and I took it out on the Arkansas River to go fishing. We were backing the boat in at the ramp and made the classic mistake of leaving the plug out. So after pulling out, draining the boat, and putting the plug in, we were on our way. Crisis averted, right?

After a few hours of fruitless fishing we decided to head back because it was getting dark. Multiple rips of the starter cord later, and the motor wouldn’t start. We were stranded on the water. We pulled out our 2007 flip phones to call our brother who knew a bit more about operating the motor than we did. No signal. We started contemplating how we would go to shore and then hike our way out. We thought we were going to have to bushwhack our way through the Arkansas Delta.

The sun was starting to set, and my brother was nearly having a complete meltdown. We decided to give the engine one last chance. With a huge sigh of relief, the engine started. We buzzed out of the tributary we had been stuck in and went straight back to the boat ramp. #BoatMyLife

Marine Casanova 

Man on Jet Ski getting out of here
This one time, when I was a dock hand, I impressed a girl enough that she told me her number. She was on vacation with her parents, but she took me up on my offer to take her “skiing” later that evening.

When I saw her and her family get halfway through the no-wake zone, I realized something horrible: I didn’t write down her phone number and I could not remember a single digit. I was never going to see her again!

I told my boss someone took off without paying for gas, jumped on a jet ski, and drove full-speed through the no-wake zone. I caught up to her family just as they were about to take off. My jet ski skills and quick thinking impressed her so much that she gave me her phone number again! #BoatMyLife

Polident can only be expected to do so much… 

False teeth on a stark purple background
When I was a young lad, probably nine or ten, going to Lake of the Ozarks with my grandparents was the highlight of my week. Friday night was spent outside on the deck looking at the beautiful water, listening to Grandpa impart his wisdom between sips of Jack Daniels. On Saturdays I went to work, mowing the grass with a push mower while the riding mower sat in the garage. I enjoyed it, I loved my grandparents, and my reward was getting to be behind the wheel for a sunset cruise on the water.

On one of these cruises, the water was clear as glass. We puttered around for about ten minutes, and I was already having the time of my life. Grandma was on the bow of the boat and Grandpa was seated behind me. He tapped me on the shoulder and said “MASH IT”! I hit the gas hard, and Grandma started screaming “SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN”. Grandpa never said to slow down, so I didn’t. Besides, I was having the time of my life hearing Grandma scream and feeling the crisp night wind on my face.

My excitement built when Grandpa told me to give the boat a turn. My Grandma yelled even louder as she held on for dear life in the front. The boat pounded into our own wake. Grandma’s butt rose six inches off the seat and slammed down hard – and at that moment her false teeth came flying out of her mouth. They flew through the air and landed at my feet.

After these ten seconds of terror, my next memory is pulling into the lift. My grandma was already halfway up the sidewalk, looking me in the eye and saying “You’re in trouble”. But grandpa wouldn’t stop laughing. #BoatMyLife

Share Your Story!

Sharing is caring. Send us a direct message on our Facebook, or simply fill out the form below to submit your story. It can be a boating mishap, a happy tale, or simply something that you love about being on the water. No worries – we’ll keep the stories anonymous. Check out the first #BoatMyLife here!

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